"So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about adding additional good things. One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow."
Wow. Time flies when moving cross-country, doesn’t it?
It’s hard to believe that this time only a month ago, we were living in a flurry of packing, organizing moving trucks, and fitting in final must-see’s for Washington D.C. Life is such a fluid, changing thing, and I am regularly amazed by its unexpected and winding trails.
So here we are: a new chapter. The Texas chapter, so far filled with heat and dysfunctional air conditioning, friendly strangers, even friendlier neighbors and co-workers, drool-worthy barbecue, time to spend on my mat in the sunshine of a bay window, and a patio pleading to be made into the garden it always dreamed it could be.
I have thought about what in the world to write for this first post in more than a month—a thing that just isn’t supposed to happen once you enter the blogging world, the equivalent of radio dead air or forgetting your child’s first birthday—and I have become aware of an increased weight, a pressure building to create something worthy of such a wait. It’s funny how the things we start for ourselves can morph into pressure to please others, even when we don’t know who said others are. Writing, cooking, and sharing the randomness that is my life are happy places, but too many days I’ve dismissed my own thoughts and ideas as not quite ‘wow’ enough to break the silence.
That forty-something Joey wannabe from the gym who actually spoke the words ‘how YOU doin’?’ and then flexed and winked at me in the mirror for five minutes while I sat stunned, couldn’t possibly headline a Buzzfeed thread.
The hilarious search for what I assumed was Winco Foods that led me to a sketchy, Texan equivalent of ‘the docks’ and actually turned out to be a dilapidated shed, a sign hanging from one rusty chain reading ‘serving all of San Antonio’s window needs’ was far from pin-worthy.
Badge and I unloading a moving truck in 100+ weather for four hours, yoga practices in heated studios, instructor auditions with interrupting four-year-olds, over-cooked eggplant, homemade pizza with sliced tomatoes and fresh basil, and so many bits of life kept to myself. What a silly thing it is to hold our breath for an audience with impossible standards!
"it's all messy: the hair. the bed. the words. the heart. life...." William Leal
So here I am breaking the silence with a ramble about silence. I doubt many of us are quite as put together as we try to appear we are, and somehow I forget just how enamored with being human I have become over the last few years. How thrilling it is to be raw and genuine and a messy-but-well-intentioned piece of this stunning world.
It will surely guarantee posts of a slightly more quirky nature, but I have resolved to make writing a priority, and reject the impulse to hold back until I am more put together… I have a hunch such things are a long time coming.
That's all for now. Oh! Also, make banana bread. Share it with someone. Eat it with peaches and yogurt and a mug of something iced and lovely. Use hilarious owl plates whenever possible.
Coconut- Quinoa Banana Bread
Adapted from Orangette’s Banana-Coconut Bread
1 cup whole wheat flour (or combination oat and spelt)
¾ tsp baking soda
½ tsp freshly grated nutmeg
¼ tsp sea salt
4 Tbs butter or coconut oil, softened
¼ cup honey
¼ cup natural applesauce
1 large egg
¼ tsp white vinegar
1 ½ tsp pure vanilla extract
3 large, ripe bananas, mashed well
1 cup cooked, cooled quinoa
½ cup unsweetened, shredded coconut
½ cup chopped 70% dark chocolate
Preheat the oven to 350° F. Spray to 8” loaf pans with cooking spray, set aside.
In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, nutmeg, and salt. Set aside.
In the bowl of a standing mixer, combine the butter or oil and honey and beat until combined. Add the applesauce, egg, vinegar, and vanilla and beat well. Add the banana puree, mixing until incorporated.
Mix in the flour mixture, stopping when there are still a few streaks of flour remaining.
Stir in the quinoa, coconut, and chocolate by hand just until evenly distributed.
Divide the batter between the two prepared pans, and bake until golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with moist crumbs clinging to it, about 30-35 minutes. Let the loaves cool in the pans 10 minutes before carefully turning them out onto a wire cooling rack. Serves 12.